The Unbearable Lightness of Being
by pussyriot
Summary: Catherine Jones's life has been full of pain. She approaches another year at school with the intention of remaining out of the loop and keeping her head down. However, when two charmingly handsome and dangerous brothers roll into town, she can't help but be sucked into their mind games of passion and deceit. Rated M for language and future smut
1. Chapter 1

_**Re-Awakening**_

"Jones... Jones. Wake the fuck up Cathy!" My eyes fluttered open and I was greeted by the formidable sight of my best friend Vicky Donovan standing over my bed, hands on her slim hips. "Morning," I groaned, propping myself up on my elbows.

"Morning sunshine. Are you forgetting that today is the first day of the new semester, which means it's my chance to make my mark on Tyler before any other skank does."

"God you make him sound like an undiscovered disease," I scoffed, hopping out of bed, "Give me five minutes."

"I'm giving you three," She called, flopping down onto my bed, absentmindedly flicking through an old copy of _The Progressive._

* * *

I emerged from the shower smelling of my Lavender shampoo and shower gel. I stepped into an old pair of black skinny jeans and I threw on a slightly loose cropped Gloria Steinem top. I studied myself in the mirror for a few moments. Yet another summer had gone by and my skin was as pale as ever, flawless... but no hint of a tan. My deep brown eyes narrowed as I scrutinized my features, my high cheekbones and the slight shadows cast by their defined nature, my dark almost black eyelashes that matched the locks of hair that fell just beyond my shoulders and finally my dark lips. They pursed as I shook my head. I knew it was entirely inconsequential, but everyday there was the routine facial scrutiny. It was part of the operation that I called life, as I hadn't found a better word for it. To understand me and the way I approached life's operation, you have to understand the events of my life up until that point. I was born in Mystic Falls, Virginia to a tortured and brilliant artist, and a florist. It was a typical story really. My parents both originated in Mystic Falls. However, my father, the boy genius, left aged sixteen to study art in Paris whilst my mother never left her mother's flower shop. On a mandatory familial visit, my father was a founding family member and thus image meant everything, he met my mother. Naive and idealistic as she was, she was all too happy to be swept up by a true bohemian, a romantic hero. She saw him as an escape from the mundane, and he saw her as a canvas on which he could project anything he wanted. Being a true romantic hero, he liked his women passive and willing to be whatever he wanted. Perhaps that's why I was a feminist; because my mother's dependance on a dominant male led to her destruction. Half way through the previous school year, she'd committed suicide. He was gone the next day, without any hint as to where he'd be. I didn't return to school for the rest of that year.

Vicky raised her eyebrows at me as I hopped into her bright red jeep. "You're always quiet in the mornings," She mused, "Must you philosophize every moment of the day?"

I smirked at her, "It's the human condition," I replied, "We're perpetually lost, trying to find anything to give meaning to an operation as fruitless as it is draining."

"Existentialism's a bitch," She summarized.

I chuckled, "Exactly."

She slowed the car and parked in the school's lot. I braced myself and stepped out of the car. It looked as though no time had gone by, as though no tragedy had tarnished the good name of the idyllic American dream. "Easy there," Vicky said, noting my thoughtful expression, "At least wait until third period before you start making parables of us all."

I laughed, "Not everyone, just you."

She rolled her eyes and linked her arm through mine, "Ready to face the wolves?"

"Who are these awful people?"

She grinned, "What are they all doing here?"

"And why should we care?" We exchanged looks and burst into laughter, "I'm ready as I'll ever be, lead the way sansei."

* * *

School was fine, a blur, but it had always been a blur. Between classes, I would be with Vicky and our friends, partaking in mindless gossip, having the occasional puff of dope. At lunch, we sat at our usual table and I watched my friend throw herself all over the lecherous Tyler Lockwood. I had to hand it to her, Vicky had serious moves. Lockwood was eating out of the palm of her hand by the end of lunch and watched her leave with puppy dog eyes. "Nicely done," I said as we made our way to our lockers.

"I haven't even begun," She replied with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Catherine!' I turned round to see my history teacher, Mr Tanner poking his head round the door to his classroom. "May I have a word?"

"Catherine," He began, "I'm glad to see you back, we all are, but I'd be doing wrong by you if I didn't voice a few concerns I have."

I raised my eyebrows, "Well than Mr Tanner, do right by me instead."

He frowned slightly, "Well Catherine, you're one of our brightest students, you always have been, but I'm worried that the people you surround yourself with might lead you to overlook your studies in favor of slightly less desirable pursuits."

"I think be people you mean one person Mr Tanner," I replied, he opened his mouth to speak, but I continued, "If I'm so bright then surely I know not to be lead astray by others," I looked at the clock on the wall, "I have to get to class, but don't worry, my studies are my primary concern." I turned to go.

"Miss Novak-"

"Actually Mr Tanner it's Lewis. Catherine Jones."

"You've taken your mother's name?" he questioned.

I nodded, "It's fitting, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes, I daresay it is. Well, Miss Jones, I'm assigning you an extra credit project. I want you to write an essay on Mystic Falls from any period of time you want. Your project partner will be one of our newest students, Stefan Salvatore. Have you met him?"

I shook my head. I'd heard of Stefan Salvatore, he was all the girls could talk about. Stefan's hair, Stefan's eyes, Stefan's back. Most of them had already planned their weddings to the illustrious Stefan Salvatore, I'd not even laid eyes on him yet, but I definitely would have to. "Does Stefan Salvatore know about this?" I asked.

"No, but you'll tell him."

"And you think he'll believe me?" I asked, "Forgive me, but, from what I've heard, Stefan is already very popular with the female population of this school. You really think he'll believe me if I waltz up to him insisting we spend hours together in a dusty library without any word from you."

"You have a way with words Miss Jones, you'll convince him. Now run along, we both have classes."

* * *

My last class let us out and I began my search for Stefan Salvatore. I hurried through the halls and down the front steps of the school. I looked around for a bit and then spotted a lonely figure, sitting atop a picnic bench, staring out into space. From what I could see, he had a very agreeable back. I hurried over. "Excuse me," I said. He turned and I was greeted by a wildly handsome face and bright leaf green eyes. "Hi," I continued, "We've not met, I'm Catherine Jones." I held out my hand which he shook.

"Stefan Salvatore."

"It's nice to meet you Stefan. Mr Tanner has given me somewhat unorthodox instruction. May I sit?"

"By all means," He made room for me and I joined him on the table.

"Mr Tanner is making us do a joint history project on Mystic Falls from any time period. He's making me tell you because, well because he likes to see me squirm."

Stefan raised his eyebrows, "Tanner and I didn't exactly get off on the right foot this morning."

I nodded, "Then I'm sure it's a punishment for you too."

He studied my face, "No, I'm sure it won't be a punishment at all. Why don't you come to my house now, we can make a start, maybe brainstorm a bit. You can fill me in on the school and the town."

"I'm afraid I'm not the best person for that, I've been MIA for a while."

"Why's that?"

"Personal reasons," I replied, "If there's booze at your place then I might tell you. If not,

well then Stefan Salvatore, you're breaking my heart."

* * *

Stefan's place was beautiful, weirdly beautiful in a sort of etherial way. He led me into his 'living room', more like a Sotheby's auction but he insisted that they were all heirlooms and non-movable. I plopped down on the leather sofa while he fixed us drinks. "I don't normally day time drink," He said, coming back with two GnTs, "Since we've been brought together over psycho Tanner, I think it's well deserved."

I took my glass, "Well more than a week here and you'll be a complete alcoholic."

He sat down next to me and studied me for a moment, "You're a fan of Gloria Steinem?" He asked.

I nodded, "She's one of my many idols."

He nodded, "Well I can't understand anyone who doesn't like her, or at least respect what she says."

"My Dad doesn't," I said.

"Is he a bit of a conservative?"

I shook my head, "No, quite the contrary. He's an artist completely into the alternative life styles, but he's also a man who likes his women passive."

"And what does your mother think of that?"

I paused, was it odd that it didn't hurt? Admitting to my mother's death, saying the word suicide... didn't hurt. "She died last year," I replied.

"Oh Catherine, I'm so sorry."

I smiled at him, "Thanks."

"So you live with your father?"

Now this part did hurt. I swallowed, "No actually I haven't seen him for months, I don't know where he is," I put down my drink, feeling the hotness behind my eyes, "I should go I- I have a lot to do." I hurried over to the door.

"Catherine," He called, "Don't feel that you have to say anything, but equally don't think that there's anything you can't tell me. I know we don't know each other but-"

"But you're naturally compassionate?" I asked, turning around, "Listen Stefan, you seem nice so I'm going to save you some bother and do the damn project by myself but please don't feel sorry for me because I don't need any pity, particularly not from a man."

* * *

"So you just stormed out?" Vicky asked, rifling through my closet.

"Yup," I yawned from my position on my bed, "You know I can't talk about the F word, particularly not to a strikingly handsome man who feels the need to protect me in all of my feminine hysteria." I sat up and lit a cigarette. Vicky turned from the closet, triumphantly holding a short lacy black number. "You're wearing this to the falls party tonight."

I sighed, "I don't know Vick, I'm back at school but I don't want to dive straight into the deep end."

"Since when have you been afraid of diving head first into the deep end of shark infested waters?" She demanded, hand on hip, "Besides, I need you for moral support, I saw Kelli Smith sniffing all over Tyler earlier."

"Cheerleader Kelli, who spells her name with an 'i'?"

She nodded, "I know, it's sickening. Please come Cathy."

"Fine," I replied, hopping off the bed and peeling off my clothes, "But you're driving and I'm getting drunk."

"Deal," She grinned, "Now put on a God damned bra Pankhurst."

* * *

The party was completely unexceptional. Drunk teenagers were milling about fondling each other and, as expected, Vicky disappeared pretty much as soon as we arrived. I got myself a drink and hopped up to sit upon a stone wall. "Catherine Jones," Came a familiar voice, I couldn't help smiling as I looked up into the twinkling eyes of Vicky's older brother Matt. Truth be told, I'd always had a bit of a crush on him and, although Vicky was always grossed out by my crushing on her big brother, I couldn't help flirting. "Matthew Donovan star quarterback, is it really you?"

He chuckled, "How have you been Cathy?"

I shrugged, "Same old same old. I hang out with your sister so I'm cool by association," I paused, "I heard about Elena, I'm sorry Matt."

He smiled sadly, "She needed time and space after the accident, it's completely understandable."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever you say, I still think she's a fool and without for breaking up with you."

"Well thank you, you're very loyal."

"What are sisters' friends for?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly, "Well I like to think that you're my friend too."

"Hmmm, that remains to be seen," I quirked up an eyebrow and we both burst out laughing. Suddenly, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me from the wall, "Come on Jones, we're dancing. I know you hate to be caught conforming to teenage normalcy, but I'm insisting. I'm heartbroken, I need you."

I couldn't help laughing, "Fine, but I'm going to need something stronger than this watered down bud."

He grinned conspiratorially, "Good thing I came prepared," he thrusted a silver hip flask into my hand. I took a swig and ignored the burning sensation the tequila made as it ran down my throat. I took a few more gulps and allowed myself to be whirled around the makeshift dance floor. The people and scenery around me seemed to blur as all I could focus on was the mischievous glint in Matt's startling blue eyes. I thought I could vaguely hear my name being said. As we slowed the image of Stefan Salvatore came into focus quite close to us. We finally stopped and it took me a few minutes to collect my bearings. "I'd like to talk to you," Stefan said.

I sighed, my buzz complete killed, "Now's not really a good time Stefan."

"When is?" He asked, "I mean you took off in such a hurry earlier, I was worried."

"Enough with the worries please," I snapped, "If it will stop you from trying to be the knight in delusional armor then fine, we can talk. Meet me for coffee at midnight."

At that point, my least favorite person in the world walked over accompanied by her drippy cohort. "Oh great, tweedle-dum and tweedle-drip," I murmured, not loud enough for anyone to hear. "What's up guys?" Elena Gilbert asked, annoyingly perkily, her huge eyes darting from Stefan, to me, to Matt and then back to Stefan. I could feel Matt tense, "Nothing, I have to pee," he said, and hurried in the opposite direction. The silence that followed was painful. "So," Elena said finally, "What were you two talking about?" God she was transparent. "The fact that our society is dominated by the patriarchal male," I replied.

She frowned slightly. I heard laughter from beside me, and we turned simultaneously to see Vicky and Tyler half kissing, half walking into the woods together. I felt a slight swell of pride for Vicky who'd outplayed the vacuous looking Kelli Smith. Elena and her friend Bonnie Bennet exchanged glances and snorted. Stefan sent them a confused look, "Whats so funny?" he asked.

"Well Elena and I had a bet going to see who would be the first to hook up with Tyler this year," Bonnie informed.

"I knew it would be Vicky," Elena added, "She's sort of the school slut."

I glared at her, "Just where do you come off disparaging female sexuality, something you clearly know nothing about?" I demanded, "How dare you use such a derogatory term on Vicky, someone who's not afraid to experience her sexuality without the superficial bullshit enforced upon us by an oppressive monotonous world."

Elena looked gobsmacked for a moment, before her doe eyes widened and a look of sickening innocence spread across her beautiful face. I smirked, "Whatever you want Elena, judge Vicky, judge everyone. But next time that you do pass a judgement on someone, why don't you take a moment to contemplate the satisfaction you get from your meaningless consumer driven life. Or better yet, why don't you shove it up your ass!"

I turned to Stefan, "If you see Vicky, would you tell her that I've gone to the grill?" With that, I stormed off.

* * *

As I plonked down at a table at the Mystic Grill, I was immediately greeted by an extremely inebriated Caroline Forbes. "I heard what you said to Elena," She slurred.

"Come to lynch me?" I asked.

She shook her head, "I came to congratulate you," She said, after a quick hiccup, "As much as I'm sorry for her, someone's got to wipe the innocent look off that judgmental bitch's face." Her gaze immediately drifted from me, and became quite fixated on something just beyond my head. "What are you looking at?" I turned to follow her gaze. It turned out, she was staring into the bright eyes of a man. "Isn't he gorgeous?" She gushed as I turned back to face her. I shrugged, "I guess so, he's not really my type. He's too... too obviously good looking."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever Virginia Woolf, I gotta go, Bonnie's on her way to tell me off for experiencing a normal adolescence." She stood up, swayed slightly and headed off, seemingly unsure of her destination. I chuckled slightly, I'd always admired Caroline's spirit, her can do attitude as it had never been a trait of mine. Her total optimism in the face of almost anything sort of fascinated me. I rested my head on the cool countertop and waited for my double espresso to arrive. When I looked up, I jumped slightly. "I thought that, after my monologue, you wouldn't show up," I said.

Stefan sat down, "I still want to get to know you, although I wasn't entirely impressed by your little performance."

"My goal in life," I sing songed, "Impressing you. So where do we begin.. favorite color, favorite 80's cult film, obviously _Heathers_ by the way."

Stefan raised his eyebrows, "Although your repartee serves as a highly amusing poorly veiled attempt to divert the attention from your personal life, I want you to cut the shit. Plus, _Heathers_ has nothing on _Back to the Future._"

"Oh God," I sighed, "Your romantic haircut suggests that you like to make a drama out of every little test score and pep rally, but can't you just accept the fact that I'm just a non exceptional teenager lacking in any profundity?"

His brow creased slightly, "You haven't heard have you? You left the party early, oh God Catherine."

I sat up a little straighter, a cold stab of worry in my chest, "What happened?"

"Vicky... she was attacked in the woods by an animal, she's in hospital."

* * *

**_This is a new story and I'd love your feedback and I'll take any character/ story requests into account._**

**_love Pussyriot_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Keep Your Friends Close.**_

I stood up blindly, suddenly not so aware of the ground beneath my feet. I looked around and then stumbled through the grill into the open air. I thought for a tiny moment that I could see a pair of piercing icy blue eyes observing me from a little way off, but my attention waned when Stefan appeared at my shoulder. "Catherine, where are you going?"

He asked, irritatingly calmly. "Where the fuck is Vicky's car?" I asked, exasperated, "She parked it somewhere here?"

"You can't drive Catherine, you're drunk. Look how about I drive you home?"

I shook my head violently, "No I'm going to the hospital."

"Catherine, you're in no state to go to the hospital, you probably won't be able to see her now anyway. Come on, I'll take you home."

"No Stefan, if you won't take me to the hospital then fine, but I'm getting there one way or another."

He sighed, "I can see stubbornness is going to put a serious strain on our friendship."

I raised my eyebrows at him, "Our friendship?"

"Yes," He said with a challenging look, "Our friendship."

I resisted the urge to let out an exasperated groan, "For the sake of our friendship, either take me to the hospital or step aside."

* * *

The car ride was silent. Normally I'd be trying to read Stefan's mind from his posture and expression, but right then all I could think about was my oldest and closest friend lying in a hospital bed. I hurried into the hospital whilst Stefan parked the car. The nurse on call directed me to the room and I froze in the doorway. Vicky had always been a heavy sleeper, it took a crane to wake her up sometimes... but I'd never seen her look so vacant before. She could almost pas for dead had it not been for the slight rise and fall of her chest. "Cathy," I was startled by the sight of Matt emerging from the adjoining bathroom. He rarely used my first name, particularly not the abbreviation reserved only for the Donovan family. "Hi Matt," I said. He smiled sadly and then pulled me into a tight hug. I'd always loved Matt's hugs as his strong hard body always felt nice. But during this hug, my only intention was to show Matt how much I loved and supported him. "What do the doctors say?" I asked as we pulled apart.

"She'll be fine," He replied, "But she'll need to stay here for a few nights and take medication. She had stitches in her neck," He trailed off, "I just, I should have seen it coming, I shouldn't've let her wander off into the woods like that."

"Matt you can't blame yourself," I insisted, "This was no one's fault. You can't predict the actions of animals as much as you can predict the actions of humans."

He nodded, "You've always been the smart one of the pair. She's lucky to have a friend like you, you know."

I smiled, "She's lucky to have a brother like you," I studied him, "You look tired Matt, you should go home. I'll stay with her all night I promise."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, "Okay if you're sure. You're practically family anyway," He leant in and placed a soft kiss on my cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow Jones."

* * *

I woke with a start and a painful crick in my neck. I groaned and sat up in the hospital chair, my neck clicking audibly as I did so. Vicky was still sleeping like a baby. I stood up and made my way into the bathroom. After splashing water on my face, I moved to make my way back into the bedroom, but I stopped when I heard movement from within. I made my way to the door and peered through the tiny crack. Stefan Salvatore was leaning over Vicky's bed, murmuring to Vicky who looked as though she was in a trance. "An animal attacked you," he repeated, "It came out of the woods and jumped you, that's all you remember."

"It's all I remember," She repeated. He looked around, as if sensing someone else was in the room and then swept out. I gave it a moment, and then wandered back into the room. To my utmost surprise, Vicky was back to snoring softly. I shook myself, had I imagined the whole curious episode in my exhaustion. I sighed, I needed coffee. I strode down the hospital corridors until I found the dispenser. I poured myself some watery coffee and took my time sipping it and making my way back to the room. I smiled as I saw Matt standing by the bed, "Morning," I said, "How are you?"

He shook himself, with a confused frown, "Everything's fine but man I'm tired. I came to check up on Vic and see if you needed a ride."

"No that's okay, I was going to hang out here all day."

He raised his eyebrows, "You're cutting... and I thought that you were the smart one."

I ran a hand through my hair, "I'm not cutting, I just don't feel well."

"In that case you should be at home, not here. You need to get out of this room.'

"Fine fine, just take me home and I'll change for school."

I decided that I would skip my first period history just to avoid Tanner and his questions. I lounged in a hot bath for a while, attempting to wash off the grime from the previous night's events. I thought it morbid to wear my usual dark colors considering what had happened the night before, instead opting for a deep red slip dress and some raggedy black ballet flats. The drive to the school was somewhat difficult. After all, I was suffering a mild hangover which was much less than I deserved considering the amount I'd drunk at the party. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't the only one who'd gotten off lighter than intended. Whatever Stefan was doing or saying to Vicky meant something. It implied that there was a sort of incentive to Vicky's injury, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. Although I was somewhat disinclined to see Stefan Salvatore ever again. He made me feel uneasy, and that wasn't a welcome feeling. I parked in the lot, happy that everyone was too busy with classes to notice me. I hurried up the steps and down the corridor, making my way to my AP French class. I took a deep breath, knocked once and entered. Our sexily stern forty something teacher Madame Darque raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows over her spectacles. "Miss Jones," She said, her summer in Marseilles having revitalized her thick accent, "You're late, not a particularly promising start to the year."

"Désolé," I muttered quickly, hurrying to my usual seat in the back row. I noted the fact that I received hardened looks from both Caroline Forbes and Elena Gilbert. I'd never received so much as a sniff from either of them, but now they were full on staring at me. I ignored them, I assumed Elena must've still been pissy about our confrontation at the party, or she felt bad... quite rightly so, the bitch. But then again, the word on the street was that she and Stefan Salvatore were cosying up to one another. Maybe she knew something about Stefan and in turn knew something about Vicky's death and was stupid enough to be indiscreet. I pulled out my copy of Madame Bovary mindlessly, I'd read it before and thus had the whole lesson free to obsess over my Vicky conspiracy theories. There was no way Stefan could've hurt Vicky, Matt told me Stefan had been in his eye line the whole evening,

I didn't mention it, but it was obviously to make sure he and Elena didn't get up to any funny business. But, if he didn't have anything to do with it, why was he so keen to cover it up?

* * *

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't really see where I was going on my way back to the car. That was until I collided with something hard. I shook myself and focussed on the man standing directly in front of me. It was that same man that Caroline Forbes had me stare at in the Grill the other evening. He studied my face, his mouth quirking up, his head cocking to the side. "Hello," He said, his piercing blue eyes all the more startling close up. I swallowed, "Hi there, sorry I wasn't looking where I was going." I moved passed him. "The fault was entirely mine," he said, "I'm Damon, what's your name?"

"Catherine," I replied, "But everyone calls me Jones."

"Jones it is then, good thing too as I know far too many Katherine's. So what's a beautiful girl like you doing walking carelessly across a busy parking lot?"

I narrowed my eyes, "What's a complete stranger like you doing making menial conversation with me?"

He smirked, "But I'm not a complete stranger, we know each other."

"Do we now?" I asked, folding my arms.

"We do, in fact, I remember quite vividly you and your blonde friend salivating over me the other night."

I smirked, "Well if you were as half as intuitive as you think you are, you'd know that blonde was salivating, I was merely following her gaze. In fact, you'd recall me explicitly telling blonde that you're not my type."

"Too obvious I think was the term used yes," he said.

"Wait... how could you possibly know that?" I asked.

"My hearing is impeccable, plus I can be very inconspicuous... my job requires it of me."

"Right," I said, "Are you a spy?"

He chuckled, "Something like that. I do have the ability to tell when someone is lying and, judging on your stance now, I'd say you were lying to your friend the other night." He seemed suddenly closer, I was much more aware of his proximity, and the curious energy radiating from him. "My stance?" I questioned, "What of it?"

"Spike in body heat, shortness of breath," He replied, his voice suddenly silky and hushed, "I'll bet your heartbeat has shot off the scale."

I studied this devastatingly handsome and charming man that had popped up, seemingly out of nowhere. I realized then that I'd not spared a thought for Vicky since I'd bumped into him. I shook my head, taking a step back, "Whatever my heartbeat, I'm actually in a rush. It was nice to meet you."

"Wait," He said, pulling out a small scrap of paper from his pocket and a ball point pen. He scribbled down something and pressed it into his palm, "Nice to meet you Jones."

* * *

"I feel much better," Vicky said as she gobbled down her disgusting hospital dinner, "I'm wide awake, I can eat and there's barely any pain anymore. The doctors say I can be back at home tomorrow morning, in time for the comet. So I'm thinking we make tomorrow night a bit of a party." Her bright eyes sparkling with mischief. I was so happy to see her back to her normal self that I didn't object to her recklessness. "Let's make tomorrow night our bitch," I said.

She let out a triumphant half squeal, the closest thing Vicky got to overly girlie, "Great I can't wait. Two whole days without partying has left me feeling restless. So what's been going on, what's the 411?"

I thought for a moment, "The bigger question is, what's going on between you and Jeremy Gilbert?"

Her expression suddenly changed to something dangerously resembling melancholy, "Jeremy," She sighed, "I think I'm in love with him."

I couldn't prevent my jaw from dropping, "What?" I demanded, "Vicky, I understand sleeping with the guy, heck I even understand sleeping with him on the regular but love? I thought we were in agreement that love is for wimps who can't stand on their own two feet."

Vicky swallowed, "I know that you don't need to fall in love and I admire you for that. You don't depend on anyone, but I'm not as strong as you."

My gaze softened, "Vicky I do depend on someone. I depend on you, and I just don't want to see you get hurt. Jeremy loves you, that much is obvious. But I can't trust the Gilbert's, their priorities are so messed up and weird."

"Cathy, their parents died. You can't blame them for being a bit different."

"Whatever," I said, standing up, "I have to take off, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Come on Cathy, don't be like that," She said.

"Vic, I seriously have to go. But I will be back to pick you up with Matt tomorrow."

* * *

It's not that I didn't empathize with the Gilberts. After all, I'd lost both parents myself, and more recently than Elena and Jeremy. The thing was, after the car accident, the people had been falling over themselves to get to the Gilberts to comfort them and give them whatever they needed/ wanted. However, after my mother's suicide and my Father's disappearance, no one, not a single person, aside from Vicky of course, had even offered their condolences. I'd not received a visit from anyone from social services, or even a lawyer. I'd just assumed the role of homeowner and had to pay the bills from the small inheritance my mother had left me. I had nothing. So, from where I stood, the Gilberts had everything. They came from the right side of town, they were wealthy, they were from a 'recognized' founding family whose remaining relatives actually spoke to them and most importantly, they had an aunt who was dedicated to looking after them. I'd not heard a word from the other Novak's since my eight birthday when my grandfather and an uncle or two had crashed and spent the entire day yelling at my parents. It was no secret in town that my father had married beneath him, and none of his family would speak to him or me. I was never invited to founders' events and I was well aware how the rest of the founders viewed me. They thought I was trash and not worth their time honored traditions. Not that I cared much, it was a truth universally acknowledged that the founders' council of Mystic Falls threw the dullest events in the history of the world. But still, these people had raised my father only to throw him out and shun me.

After I left the hospital I headed straight home. Although I'd never felt a particularly loving connection to the house, It was all I had left. My Father's artistic talents paired with my Mother's experience in the flower shop made for a beautiful home. It was small and slightly shabby, but the front and back gardens had over the years been manicured to perfection with the most beautiful flowers I'd ever seen running up and down them. The house was two stories with a large wooden shaded porch at the front. The first floor was made of a large kitchen/ dining room area with modern facilities but a bohemian theme in the decoration. There was also a large comfy sitting room and my Father's office/ studio. I hadn't set foot in that since he disappeared, not that he let me in there much anyway. The studio and my Parent's bedroom were the rooms I never ventured into. As well as their bedroom the top floor also housed mine and my bathroom. My bedroom was almost perfectly square with white walls. There was a double bed in the centre of one wall with matching oak furniture throughout the room. The walls were covered with posters of books, movies and bands that I liked. A door just off one of the walls led into my pristine white bathroom, but my favorite feature of the room were the two French doors that led out onto a large balcony that was sheltered by a willow tree and thus offered privacy. My room served as a safe haven in the middle of a hostile house. It was the only place in the house in which I felt safe, that was until my parents were gone.

With the loss of my parents came something... indescribable. Not quite a freedom, but a new sense of self. I'd always felt inferior in my parents eyes, my father's especially. He'd always wanted a son, and I was made painfully aware of that in my youth. He had never let me into his studio or even tried to enlighten me about his art when I'd always had an interest and an artistic desire I couldn't suppress. He knew that I was interested, he knew that I had a voice but his stupid sexism made it impossible for him to even attempt to fuel my passion. I moved around this house now feeling as though the shadow my parents, and their awful marriage had cast over me was gone. I wandered into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of white wine. After procuring a glass bowl to use as a makeshift ashtray, I sat down and lit a Marlboro. I couldn't ignore it, Vicky's accident had led me to think of the very few people in my life. I could count those people on one hand, with just two fingers; Matt and Vicky. If I lost Vicky then Matt would be my only friend, my only family. The only person I'd be able to depend on as someone to have in my life was a man who wasn't my relation or someone I was seeing... it would be complicated and volatile. I knew that I needed to build bridges, but it just sounded like such a bore. There was one person who, despite my best efforts, I couldn't deny was an interesting character. relentlessly conventional to the point of it being unique. I let out a frustrated sigh and stubbed out my cigarette before fishing out my cell phone and dialing the number.

"Hello," came the voice.

"Damon?" I said, "It's Catherine... Catherine Jones from earlier."

"Jones," I could hear him grinning, "Honestly I didn't think you'd call, but it's great to hear from you Jones. What can I do for you?"

"Do you want a drink?" I asked, "I need to talk to someone who doesn't know me at all."

"Sure, where should we meet?"

I thought for a moment, looking around the kitchen, "My place?"

* * *

I don't know what possessed me but, as soon as we hung up, I hurried upstairs to freshen up a little. I threw off the outfit I'd worn to school and slipped into some dark blue jeans and

a plain white tee shirt. After brushing my hair a little and applying some extra mascara, I hurried back downstairs. Around ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. He was as handsome as the first time I'd seen him, only now it wasn't garishly obvious. In the warm light of the evening, his beauty was authentic and completely enticing. but that wasn't the object of inviting him to my house that evening. He was leaning casually against the doorway. "Evening Jones," He said with a smile.

"Damon was it?" I asked, "Come on in, I have a bottle open."

He followed me to the kitchen and looked around as I fixed him a glass. "Thanks," he said as he accepted it, "So you said you needed a talk."

I nodded, "Yes," I gestured to the table and we sat, "I know we don't know each other at all but I've.. uh, I suppose I've come to a sort of rude awakening in my life. That's to say that I don't have many friends, in fact I only have one and she has a brother so I suppose you could say that in my life there are three people. Just me and the other two."

"What about your parents?" he asked.

I lit myself another cigarette and offered him the packet. He shook his head with a smile.

I swallowed, "It's not exactly a tender story. I don't really know why I'm telling you, I don't talk about it... ever. My parents marriage was unhappy, they were wrong for each other, but my mother loved him so much she couldn't take life with or without him. Anyway, half a year ago, she killed herself. A day later, my father had disappeared and to this day I don't know where he is."

"My God, I'm so sorry," he said, the tone of his voice not suggesting pity, but a definite sense of support. I smiled, "It's okay. Actually, as terrible as it makes me seem, sometimes I think that it's better this way. Not my mother's death, that's awful. But them not being together, us not being a family is better. We were terrible. My father is a horrible person. An artist, very talented, but very temperamental and just an awful person. Horrible to my mother and me, even when he knew she loved him more than reason should've allowed. He'd always wanted a son you see, and he blamed both my mother and me for my gender. He'd shut me out of his art and his life when he knew I had an interest in it myself. Anyway,

I live alone now and my friend Vicky recently got into a dangerous accident. I can't help thinking about what could've happened and how, if she'd died, I'd be left with quite literally no one in a ridiculous house and a mortgage I can't afford to control," I could feel the panic in my throat rising. I stood up, "Oh God what can I do, I have no way out of this hell my parents left for me. And you probably think I'm a total lunatic for springing this on a total stranger, I'm just so badly together in fact I'm not together at all-"

"Jones," he interrupted quietly, "You're young. Truth be told, none of us have anything together. Sit down Jones, things aren't as bad as they seem."

I nodded and took a breath, sitting down as I did so, "This is the most emotional I've been since my parents went."

Damon raised his eyes, "You never cried?"

I shook my head, "I can't remember the last time I cried. I think I'm dead inside."

He chuckled slightly, "You're definitely not dead inside Jones, you're human. So, let's discuss this. You're eighteen?"

"Seventeen," I corrected.

"You lost both your parents, in different ways, but they're both gone. Surely you have someone from social services to help you with economical and emotional support?"

I shook my head, "I've not been visited by anyone official, not even a lawyer. I've been left with a small inheritance from my mother, I found it in a note she'd left in my desk. I have the credit card and all the numbers, but it's all in her name. I don't know how to transfer it without an official statement from her. I've managed to pay the bills thus far by withdrawing

small sums from her account and putting them into mine."

"But that's so irresponsible," he said, suddenly indignant, "The people in this town should've helped you, protected you."

"The people of this town haven't viewed me as a real citizen for years," I explained, "My father is from one of the founding families. However, he tarnished the legacy of the founding families by going against his families wishes and running away to study art. He then committed more crimes by eloping with my mother who embodied Carol Lockwood's definition of 'trash'. We were all ostracized."

"But that's crap-"

"These people are elitist and bigoted and it sucks, but there's nothing I can do. And, as much as I am worried about the money aspect of the whole thing, I don't want some social services robot snooping around my life like I'm a project. So I've resigned myself to make more friends which is ridiculous as I'm clearly insane."

Damon smiled, "Not insane at all. So you want to include more people in your life? I'm flattered that you chose me."

"I thought a complete stranger would be appropriate," I replied, "But there is one other thing I need to ask you about."

"What's that?"

"If you saw someone doing something curiously shady and potentially to do with someone close to you, what would you do?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Well it all depends on the context. Did this someone doing this something look as though they might be potentially dangerous towards your friend?"

"I don't know, but I do know that this someone is definitely very influential."

He leant forward, "Well then Jones, there's only one saying you can apply to the situation in this case; keep your friends close and your enemies, potential or otherwise, closer. I suggest you do some snooping. In that department, I'd be happy to extend a helping hand."


	3. Chapter 3

_**It Gets so hard Just to be Okay**_

I was surprised by how natural I felt with Damon. He was almost a complete stranger and yet I trusted him unconditionally, and we got on so well. It turned out we loved all the same books and movies, plus he didn't push me to talk about things I didn't want to. He was also open with me, telling me about his strained relationship with his brother and the fact that they had both loved the same woman who'd ultimately come between them. Damon had also had a difficult relationship with his father who'd always looked down on him and treated him poorly. We connected over that, there seemed to be an unspoken understanding of one another. We were both children of bad marriages who'd grown to resent and almost hate their parents at the same time as loving them. We spent more and more time together as the days went by so much so that I was tempted to introduce him to Vicky. But a very perverse side of me was reluctant to share my friendship with Damon with anyone else. It was still too new, despite the fact that it seemed like we'd known each other for ever.

* * *

However, it was a few days later when things began to go drastically downhill. I was sitting at the bar in the Grill, nursing a GnT, waiting for Damon. Matt had always been okay with secretly sneaking me drinks at the grill, provided that I didn't blab about it. "You're developing expensive taste," Matt was saying as he made me my drink.

I smiled at him, "You know me Matt, the only thing I take care over is my alcohol. I'm plucking up some Dutch courage before I go to meet Vicky in the cemetery."

"Yup," he said grimly, "I know some of her other friends can be... difficult."

"It's not just that," I replied, "I'm introducing Vicky to my new friend Damon, I just hope the two get on."

"Well she doesn't like Stefan, but maybe Vicky's distaste isn't hereditary."

I felt my stomach plummet, "Wait, what?"

"Maybe Vicky won't dislike all the Salvatores," He said.

"Salvatores... Damon and Stefan are related?"

Matt nodded, with a confused frown, "They're brothers. I thought everyone knew that, didn't he tell you?"

I shook my head, suddenly aware of how stupid I'd been, "I didn't even know his second name. God, I'm such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot Jones, I mean it's not such a big deal is it?"

It was a big deal. For days I'd been gushing to myself about my new friendship and I'd been discussing with Damon at great lengths what I'd seen Stefan doing, and what I could do about it. Damon had probably been spurting it back out to Stefan the whole time. I got up from the bar and put a couple of bills down on the surface. "I have to go Matt. If Damon asks after me, please don't say anything?"

He nodded, "Sure, no problem."

* * *

I went straight from the Grill to the Cemetery to meet Vicky. I was in the mood to get absolutely fucked and I wasn't disappointed. They were all scattered across the ground and shot me cheerful greetings. Vicky jumped up and pulled me into a tight hug. "Hey Cathy," She said, "Where's your friend?"

"Things didn't work out, he's not coming."

"Are you alright?" She asked.

I nodded, "Everything's fine, I just need to forget."

She grinned, "I have just the thing." She led me by the hand to where she was sitting. To mu surprise, we were greeted by a very stoned looking Jeremy Gilbert. He smiled at me and sat up, "Hey Catherine, I know we've never really spoken before. It's good to see you."

I offered him a smile back, "Good to see you too Gilbert, everyone calls me Jones."

He grinned and nodded, "Jones it is then."

I sat down, noting the approving smile I'd received from Vicky. She handed me a freshly rolled joint and I lit up. Truth be told, I'd never really loved getting stoned, but the sharp taste of marijuana helped to make everything go away that night. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. It was Damon. I hit ignore and took a sip from the bottle of Jack that was being offered to me. I handed Jeremy the joint and stood up, "I need to find a bush to pee in."

* * *

I stumbled through the trees in search of a suitably shaded area to pee in. After I'd found one and peed, I hurried back to the clearing. I froze. I couldn't spot Jeremy anywhere, but the rest of the group was still on the floor, only this time, they were all lifeless. I spotted Vicky and rushed over, falling to her side. Relief washed through me as I saw that she was still breathing. It was then that spots began to appear in front of my eyes and, eventually, all went black.

* * *

The first thing I noticed as I was dragged back into consciousness was the pounding in my head. I groaned and opened my eyes. I was in an oddly familiar living room/ Sotheby's auction. I shot up, feeling the panic rise in my chest. I spotted Vicky slumbering gently on the other leather couch and hurried over. I noted that she was semi nude, I was wearing an unfamiliar long dark tee shirt. I shook her, "Vicky," I whispered, "Vicky wake up." she began to stir, but then rolled over, murmuring, "Go away Jones," In her sleep.

"She's fine," Came a voice from behind me.

I whirled around to see Damon Salvatore leaning against the door frame. "What is going on?" I asked.

"Come on Cathy, you're smarter than that," he said, "Think about it, what did you see when you came back to the clearing last night, what did you see Stefan do in the hospital. We're monsters Cathy."

"Don't call me that," I snapped, "You're monsters are you?"

"Yup," He said, popping the 'p', "Vampires to be exact."

I wanted to laugh and scream in his face that he was crazy. I wanted to, but I couldn't ignore the fact that it sort of made sense. The sudden spike in 'animal attacks' what Stefan was doing to Vicky. "Which of you attacked Vicky?" I asked.

"I think you know Cathy."

I did know. It had been false hope, the idea that my wonderful new friend Damon wasn't a raging psychopath. I nodded quietly. I heard Vicky stir behind me so I went back to her. She opened her eyes and a dreamy smile crossed her face, "Cathy, I had the most amazing dream. You, Matty, Jeremy and Me all left Mystic Falls. We were in this beautiful city and everyone loved us. We lived there forever together."

I tried to ignore the stab of pain that that caused in my heart. "Come on Vick, we have to go," I said in a hushed tone. She sat up and looked around, wonderment etched across her face. "This place is beautiful, I want to stay."

I shook my head, "We can't Vicky, we have to go."

"No," She snapped, taking me by surprise, "I understand that you're smarter than me, I get that. But I hate the way that you and Matt always fucking talk down to me like I'm some sort of child. I want to stay and you can't stop me."

I stood up, "Fine Vicky, we'll stay." I threw myself back onto the couch.

"No Cathy," She said, "I want to stay alone, I want you to go."

"But Vicky, it's not-"

"I said I want you to go," She screamed.

I'd seen this Vicky before. Someone whose mind was cut in half by the substance abuse. I'd been this Vicky before, numerous times. That was the problem with our friendship; when it was good, the friendship was beautiful. We'd laugh and love and help to boost each others self image. But when it was bad, we were like two opposing toxic forces that each fueled the other's lust for destruction. "Vicky, I can't go," I said.

"Get rid of her," Vicky said to Damon. He moved towards me and gripped my arm, leading me towards the door. "Please Damon," I said, "We're friends, you have to let me stay with her."

"I went to the grill last night, but you weren't there," He said as he opened the door.

"I- you didn't tell me that Stefan is your brother. I don't understand why."

"Maybe if you'd given me a chance to explain things to you, but you jumped straight to the he's untrustworthy place. That's your problem Jones, you steadfastly refuse to trust people. That's why you don't have anyone, you don't give people a chance." He then shoved me outside and slammed the door in my face.

* * *

I walked home, not really taking notice of the life around me. That had always been my life.

I'd been pushed and pulled through it, ignoring everything else around me, only aware of the abomination of my fucked up life. I was making my way through the square when I heard my name being called. Matt was hurrying over to me, Elena Gilbert and Stefan Salvatore in tow. I could feel myself growing defensive. I tried to suppress it with a stab of self loathing, but I couldn't. It was natural to me and I couldn't stop it. There wasn't an off switch to my mind, believe me, I'd experimented in numbing my thoughts with all manner of drugs but nothing worked. "Have you seen Vicky?" he asked as they reached me, "She didn't come home last night."

I looked from face to face. They all wore identical expressions. Concerned, but somewhat accusatory. I'd been receiving these looks since the day I was born and I hated them. "I can't deal with this right now Matt," I replied.

"Where is she, I know you know. I know you're protecting her, it's what the two of you have been doing forever. You don't realize that people are worried-"

"Will you just fuck off," I shouted, "Where are all these people who care, who are so fucking concerned? I try to keep track of her, I try to help, but it's so hard."

"Cathy-" He began, hurt in his eyes.

"Just leave me alone. I want to be alone." I turned and left them there, gobsmacked in my wake in the manner of everyone who'd ever come across me. I wasn't given a normal childhood, I didn't have anyone I could talk to. So I kept everything bottled up, my only outlet being loud and violent bursts of emotion that led the ignorant people who judged thinking me to be an ungrateful, bad sort. I was on the edge of my street when I felt someone fall into step next to me. "That was interesting," Stefan said.

"I don't really want to talk about it," I said, hurrying up the porch steps, aware that he was following me. I stopped at the door and turned, "I don't need your help Stefan."

"No, you need serious professional help because your parents fucked you up," He replied, "But shutting out everyone is a recipe for deep depression."

"I've been on prozac since I was eleven Stefan," I snapped, "I know what's wrong with me."

"Well good for you," he said, sarcastically, "That's the first step to recovery, admitting you have a problem."

"Recovery?" I asked, incredulously, "This is not something I can recover from, this is who I am and I hate it."

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"What?"

"There are some things we need to discuss."

I studied his face and realized that here was someone I couldn't read because what he was projecting was real. "You knew that I was there in the hospital, you knew that I could see what you were doing," I said.

He nodded. "Why didn't you do to me what you did to Vicky? Why didn't you control my memories?"

"Because I've never felt before the way I feel with you," He snapped, "At least not for a long time."

* * *

I knew I was an idiot for inviting him in. He explained to me that Vampires had to be verbally invited into a human's home, and that then they could come whenever they wanted. I knew I was stupid, but why would he explain to me the rules if he had sinister intentions? I sat at the kitchen table as he made us both a cup of tea. He knew that I wanted something stronger without having to ask, but he didn't act on it. He sat down.

"What did you mean?" I asked.

"A little while after I turned into a vampire, I was going through a downward spiral of killing and drinking blood," He began, "Imagine an alcoholic, but instead of needing alcohol, the need is for blood. That was who I was. Then I met someone, another vampire named Lexi. She helped me and guided me and allowed me to be exactly who I was until I found a way to control my addictions. I don't feel as though I have to hide things when I'm with you."

"What about Elena?" I asked, "Does she know?"

He nodded, "She does, but she only sees the compassionate nice side of me. She wouldn't be able to survive if she saw that I was any other way. And, to a certain extent that lets me know that she thinks the world of me, but it's so exhausting not even being able to crack a joke in fear of her taking it the wrong way. You make me feel real and comfortable."

I was taken aback. I felt something so unfamiliar to me, something so foreign. I felt consideration. A gentle form of companionship that wasn't limited by disgust or a hierarchical sense of obligation. I couldn't handle it, I began to cry. I rested my head on the table and began to weep uncontrollably. "Catherine," I felt a hand on my back.

I sniffed and sat up, "This is the first time I've cried since my eight birthday party," I said, "I've never felt this before. No one has ever given me this... this unconditional acceptance before." I studied his face, taking in every feature that radiated warmth and safety. I moved without thinking, taking his face in my hands and kissing him. I pulled back almost immediately, "I'm so sorry," I said, "You're with Elena, God, I'm so fucked up."

"NO," he said, "It's okay. Come on," he stood up, offering his hand, "You need some rest, I'll go out and get us some lunch."

I allowed him to lead me upstairs. I even allowed him to help me get into my pajamas. It was then, as I threw Damon's shirt on the floor that I remembered. "Stefan, Vicky's at your house with Damon," I said, "I have to go back."

"I'll take care of it," he said, "Get into bed, I'll go to Vicky and take her home, and then I'll bring you some food."

He helped me into bed, looking around the room as he did so. "I love _Fleetwood Mac,_" he said. He smiled down at me and then, leaning down, placed a small kiss on my forehead. "I'll be back soon," He said, "Don't get into any trouble while I'm gone."

I didn't understand how I'd ever rejected Stefan. He was the embodiment of everything I wanted to be, everything I knew I had to surround myself with to survive. How could I have obsessed over Damon when Stefan had been there the entire time?

* * *

He came back at midday with a shopping bag full of delicious smelling Chinese food. I felt my mouth immediately begin to water. He brought two plates up from the kitchen and doled out two portions. "How's Vicky?" I asked.

"She's okay," He said, "But I have something I need to tell you that won't make you too happy."

"What has happened?" I asked.

"Damon turned Vicky into a vampire, she's in transition and she has to feed on a human otherwise she'll die for good."

"Oh God."

"It's going to be okay. I'm going to show her how to live like I do, feeding only on animals. She'll be fine, but she needs a few days to transition properly. She won't be able to see anyone for a few days."

I nodded, "I understand."

"Are you going to the halloween dance at school tomorrow?" He asked, his tone lightening somewhat.

I shook my head, "I don't usually go. Whenever I do, it always ends up with me and Vicky getting high out of our minds in some sports field."

"What are you going to do tomorrow?" He asked.

"Probably sleep in, and then spend the day in bed watching movies."

"Great plan," He said, "I'd ask to join you, but I'll have my hands full with Vicky tomorrow."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Memento**_

It felt odd to have actually made a friend. I woke up the next day feeling oddly contented, which was a feeling I'd never experienced before. I allowed myself to relax that day, taking a hot bath in the morning and ordering pizza for lunch. It wasn't until the evening did I start to wonder about Vicky. I had to see her. I had to make things right. I scoured my closets to find anything suitable for a halloween dance, and then remembered that I couldn't give a fuck about school functions and jut threw on some jeans and a random top.

The school gym was dark and full of weirdly dressed teenagers. For a moment, I thought I was having a really odd trip, but I shook myself as I had to focus. I weaved through the bodies, trying to spot Vicky anywhere. "Hey," I said, going up to a senior I'd never spoken to before in my life, "Have you seen Vicky Donovan anywhere?"

"Yeah I think I saw her with Jeremy Gilbert... they might've gone outside."

"Right thanks Cindy," I said, hurrying passed her.

"It's Mindy!" She called, but I was already gone.

I pushed through one of the emergency doors that led onto the old yard full of school busses just in time to see Stefan Salvatore shoving a piece of wood through my best friend. Elena Gilbert was huddled by one of the busses with her little brother. They both were covered in blood. "No Vicky," Jeremy cried out, but he made no move to go to her. I saw her look down at the stake in her, look up at Stefan with wounded eyes and then her skin seemed to begin to rot. She fell down, her body lifeless and pathetic. Stefan then turned and rushed to Elena's side. "Are you okay?" He asked her.

She nodded, "We're fine, we should go."

I felt an overwhelming urge to go over there and strangle that irritating girl. Such urges could only be quieted with one thing. I lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. The warmth in my lungs allowed me some clarity. I looked at the body of my best friend knowing that I could never make right our argument. I'd failed Vicky, I shouldn't've left her there alone. I shouldn't've allowed Stefan's companionship to distract me from the fact that she'd been turned into a Goddamned vampire. Why was I so selfish? I let out an audible sigh and the three turned their heads. Stefan's eyes widened. "Catherine," He said, standing up.

Elena's eyes seemed to narrow as he said my name. "I understand Stefan," I said bitterly, "You had to do what you could to protect the people you care about."

His eyebrows knitted together and he opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a new arrival. "What have we here?" Damon Salvatore asked, coming out of the same door I had. His eyes took in the scene, covering everything and then falling on me. He noted my passive expression and the cigarette in my hand. I thought I detected a pained look in his eyes, but it didn't last long. "Hi Jones," He said.

"Hi Damon," I replied.

"Need a ride?" He asked.

I looked from him to Stefan and then said, "Sure, that would be helpful."

* * *

What was I doing accepting a ride from the man who was directly involved if not responsible for the death of my best friend. Not a man, a monster. I felt nothing of this as we sat side by side in his car. I felt nothing at all. I didn't feel safe, though I felt no danger. I

felt nothing akin to liking for the man, though I felt no disliking for him. He was just a man driving a woman home. It was handy at a time like this, being with someone who didn't confuse me with my feelings for them. Damon and I were clearly equally as complicated which made it so easy for me to be in his company at a time that was so simplistically awful. He pulled up in front of my house and wordlessly, I climbed out of the car. I knew he would follow me without looking back. We stopped at the front door and he turned to look at me. "What are you thinking?" He asked.

"That I should hate you for what you did," I replied, "But I can't. I've lost everything and I don't see the point in wasting energy on hating you. Feeling anything would take too much energy."

"Sometimes it's easier to feel nothing," He said, "Why waste effort in going through the 'functional' stages of grief when there's no one around to appreciate it?"

I studied his face. His expression matched perfectly what I was feeling. "Do you want to come inside?" I asked.

"Yes," He replied.

We sat down opposite each other at the kitchen table. "You hurt me Jones," He said, "When you didn't turn up for our meeting. I actually thought that I'd successfully made a friend and gained someone's trust. Do you understand how difficult that is for me?"

I nodded, "I can because I was feeling exactly the same thing. It was the same thing I felt with Stefan until I saw him impale my best friend on a branch."

"Stefan is like that. He'll seem so gallant and then the other shoe drops."

"Did I really hurt you?"

"You did," He replied, "Meeting you has been the most exciting thing to happen since my arrival in this stupid town."

"Meeting you has been the most exciting thing to happen to me since my arrival on this Earth," I said, "You and Stefan are like two sides of the same coin. You both had an astronomical effect on me, but for different reasons."

I stood up and walked over to the window. "I used to look out of this window and dream of the day that I would leave Mystic Falls and escape the insanity of my life. But now as I look out into the night I realize that the insanity is in my head, inescapable."

I heard him get up and walk over to join me. I felt him behind me. "Nothing is inescapable Catherine," He said. I felt his words, his breath on the back of my head. I turned, our eyes meeting. "Escape is in losing yourself," He said. I felt it then, something static caught in the air between us. "Help me," I said, before pressing my lips against his. He deepened the kiss, snaking his arms around my waist. In that moment we didn't need words. Our bodies understood each other. He tightened his grip on me and lifted me up, moving back towards the table. He sat me down, never breaking the kiss and began to pull my clothes from me. Each item fell to the floor starting with my shirt. It was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. We broke apart and I slid his shirt over his head. His body was brilliant. His chest and abs sculpted, but not overly so, all stretched under flawless porcelain skin. I heard his belt unbuckle and then in one delicious movement, he was inside me. I couldn't control the

moans that escaped my mouth. I loved it, not having to be in control of my expressions and my sounds. We moved as one and everything, Vicky, my parents and the house all disappeared. He pumped into me countless more times and, with a cry, we both came together. "Katherine," He moaned.

I knew it wasn't me he was talking about, but I didn't care. What we shared wasn't intimacy. We were as one for a time but it wasn't for each other. It was for the mutual escape. It didn't matter who we were thinking about. In my case it was Matt. In his, it was Katherine with a 'K'. And that didn't matter. "I have to go," He said.

"I know," I replied, "Go."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

I spent the next hour or so lying back on the table, staring up at the ceiling. My mind was empty. The enormity of my orgasm awarded me a blissful silence. I didn't bother putting my clothes back on. The lights from the ceiling kept my naked body warm. It wasn't until a little while later when I heard the doorbell ring was I pulled back to reality. I sat up and hopped off the table. I knew who it was without looking so I didn't bother covering myself up. Stefan's expression didn't change as he noticed my state of dress. "Can I come in?" He asked. I stepped aside, allowing him space to come in. He walked around the table to the other side of the kitchen opposite me. "What's on your mind Stefan?" I asked.

He sighed, "I can't be the man she wants me to be."

"I assume you're talking about Elena," I replied breezily.

He frowned, "You don't seem too... mournful."

I raised an eyebrow, "I've found new ways to.. numb the pain."

It was then that he seemed to notice my attire, or lack there of. A breath hitched in his throat as he tried to keep his eyes on my face. I felt it again; that static caught in the air. For a moment, I questioned it. I'd just had brilliant sex with Damon, was it right to then seduce his brother? That pause lasted about two seconds as Stefan made swift strides across the room and crashed his lips down on mine. I felt his hands exploring every inch of my body and my temperature began to rise as I felt a familiar heat pooling inside me. "I can't be what she wants me to be," He murmured between kisses, "But with you, I can be anyone I want."

"You don't have to be anyone," I replied breathily, "With me, you can leave yourself and never look back."

* * *

"So you did the whole grunge thing in the nineties?" I asked. Stefan and I were lying in my bed, side by side, staring up at the ceiling. Just like the way I used to with Vicky when we'd do sleepovers when we were much younger. "Yup," He replied, "I think it was 1994 when I got the tattoo on my shoulder."

"In 1994 I was 2," I said with a slight chuckle.

He glanced at me and let out a laugh, "This is pretty twisted."

"You'd think so," I said, "And yet it doesn't feel that way."

"Nope it doesn't," He agreed, "So you were born in 1992?"

"August the first," I rolled onto my side, propping myself up with my elbow, "WHat were you doing on that day?"

He thought for a moment, "I think I might've been swimming."

I studied his face and then snorted, "As if you remember."

He grinned, "No I do. I remember it being sunny and I remember thinking '_I should go to the beach.'_ So I did."

"Uhuh," I said, "And then what happened?"

"Well then I remember having this overwhelming numinous experience and I knew that someone brilliant must've just been born."

I bust into laughter, "You are so full of shit," I gasped.

"Yeah but I'm hot so that's okay right."

I rolled over so I was hovering directly on top of him, "Yeah you're.. okay."

"Okay?" He repeated, "Just okay?"

"Yes," I murmured, "You're alright." I kissed him.

* * *

So that's how it started. One day I was with Damon, the next I was with Stefan. I'd go to Stefan when I was feeling up and then when I felt low, I'd go and see Damon. Neither one knew, or if they did, they didn't say anything. It felt completely normal and, after a while, the affairs became a necessity like my daily bread. Stefan was still in this weird teeny bopper epic love thing with Elena, but we didn't care. We needed our time together to stay sane. I knew that Damon was still in love with his ex girlfriend, but I didn't care. I didn't want either of them. I had no interest in a relationship, but the orgasms were insane and they prevented me from dwelling too much on my shitty life. I just didn't care.


	5. Chapter 5

_New Beginnings_

"So that's how you became a vampire?" I asked, "Katherine turned both you and Stefan."

Damon nodded and sat up in bed, "She was with both of us, but Stefan insists that he was compelled throughout all of it. I wasn't."

I raised my eyebrows, "And she's in the tomb under the church?"

"What's left of the church," He replied, "I'm going to get her out so that we can be together again."

I rolled over and hopped off the bed. "Where are you going?" Damon asked as I slipped into my jeans and vest without bothering with underwear. "Drink with a friend," I said.

"Which friend?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm meeting Matt to try to reach some common ground. Last time we spoke, we had a bit of an argument. He's all I've got now so I need to make things right."

I made it to the door before he said, "You have me."

I didn't turn around. I simply said, "For now," and I let myself out.

* * *

I crept down the boarding house stairs, keen not to make a noise. I moved stealthily across the hall when I heard, "Catherine?"

I turned and saw Elena and Stefan staring at me from the sofa. "Hi there," I said casually, "Just came over to drop off some... sugar. Damon needed some."

"Damon needed sugar?" Elena asked, eyebrows raised.

I nodded, "Yup, I have to go now so I'll see you both around." I could see Stefan glaring at me, but I ignored him, turning to go and hurrying out.

* * *

Matt was waiting for me at the grill, sitting at a table and looking around. He spotted me and gave me, not a smile exactly, but a nod of recognition that wasn't entirely unpleasant. I made my way over and gingerly sat down. "Hi Matt," I said.

"Hi Jones," He replied. I tried to ignore the stab I felt at his not calling me 'Cathy', a name reserved only for him and Vicky. "Do you want something to drink?" I asked.

"I'll get us some cokes," He said, standing up and going to the bar. He knew that I'd want a real drink. He returned with two obviously soft drinks, he was trying to make a point. I accepted my drink and took a sip. We sat in silence for a while, Matt steadfastly ignoring my eye contact and paying far too much attention to his boring drink. "You were right about me," I said finally. He looked up, his hard stare encouraging me to go on. "You were right about everything. I've been asleep, dying since my parents have been gone. I've been wallowing, too afraid to get back out there. But I want to change. I want to be better, to be a better friend to you. Matt you're all the family I have left... you're all the anything I have left." I reached out and placed my hand on top of his.

He finally met my eyes and his expression seemed to soften, "You're all I have left too. I know it will be difficult, but I want to do everything in my power to help you. Tell me what's worrying you the most?"

"I suppose finances. I don't know any of the legal stuff, I don't even know if the house is actually mine."

"We'll set you up with a lawyer."

I shook my head, "I don't think I could afford it. What little money my mother left me is going to the bills and is running out fast. I need a job, but I'm not sure that anyone will hire me. I'm not blind to the way people look at me Matt, I know what they think."

He thought for a moment, "Not everyone thinks that. It took me a while to find a job, but Kol's great."

"Kol?" I repeated.

"Kol's the manager here. His family, the Mikaelson's own quite a lot of the businesses in town. Although the rest of his family remain mainly in New Orleans."

"Did I hear my name being said," A voice said. At that moment, a tall, very attractive young man appeared at out table.

Matt smiled, "Hey Kol."

"Hey man," Kol replied in his ridiculously sexy british accent. His gaze fell on me, "Hi there, I'm Kol Mikaelson."

"Cathy Jones," I replied, "But everyone calls me Jones."

"Jones here is looking for a job," Matt explained, "I was telling her how great you are as a boss."

Kol smiled, "Well kissing the bosses ass does tend to work. What sort of job are you looking for Miss Jones?"

"Anything you have to offer," I replied, "I just really need a job."

He nodded, "Well we're in need of a new waitress. How's next Monday as a starting day. Obviously I'd expect you in the evening's after school."

"Monday's great," I replied, "Wow, thank you Mr Mikaelson."

"Please call me Kol," He replied, "I'll see you two around."

* * *

After he'd left, Matt smiled at me, "See, things are looking up for you," He stood up, "I'm just gonna run to the bathroom."

I sat in contented silence for a few moments, something I'd not experienced in months... no years. I couldn't believe it, in the space of a moment, I'd rekindled my friendship with Matt and been employed by an extremely sexy man. Somehow my faith in humanity was slowly being restored. However, this warm feeling of contentment was swiftly shit on by the arrival of Elena Gilbert and Stefan Salvatore. I tried to avoid their eyes, but alas, Elena immediately spotted me and bustled over. Stefan however, ignored me, and strode straight passed me to the bar. "Do you mind if I sit?" Elena asked, sitting straight away.

"Sure," I replied, "What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to talk to you about Damon," She replied, "I don't know what's going on with you two and I know it's none of my business-"

"True-" I interrupted.

She continued unfazed, "He's dangerous Cathy. He's devoid of any emotion and he has no regard for human life."

"And Stefan does?" I asked.

Her eyebrows knitted together in distress, "Damon killed Vicky."

"As I recall, Stefan was the one who impaled her on a stick," I said, "I'm sure that what you're doing is in your own special way, an attempt to extend an arm friendship... or at least some humane need to sustain the rest of the human race. However, your calling Damon a murderous monster is a double standard if you're willing to accept and deify Stefan who's guilty of the same, if not more awful things as Damon."

She looked as though Bambi's mother had been shot again, right in front of her. I'd put my foot in it. Perhaps it was my deep hatred of sycophancy, or maybe that I was a tired bitch, but whatever it was, I did what any normal free thinking person would, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

* * *

I threw some water over my face and took a deep breath. Something about Elena Gilbert made me want to kill something. It wasn't that she was 'going out' with the man that I was sleeping with, I had no romantic feelings towards Stefan. We were merely engaging in a physical act of release and we shared in each other a sense of humanity that subsequently made both of us feel less guilty for the sins of our lives. I couldn't give a fuck about his favorite film or whether or not he held the car door open for his date. It was similar with Damon. Where Stefan allowed me to explore and delight in my 'humanity', being with Damon allowed me to celebrate my animalistic nature, and need for insurrection by engaging in a physical and spiritual connection with someone just as anarchic and fucked up as myself. Again, I couldn't give a fuck about his hopes and dreams. At least I thought I didn't. I couldn't help the sharp tug in my gut when the bathroom door burst open behind me and Stefan stormed in. I turned around just in time for Stefan to slam his lips upon mine. He gripped my wrists and kept them tightly against the sink. Forcefully, he opened my mouth and thrust in his tongue and we remained that way until we both needed breath. He pulled away and stepped back, his chest rising and falling rapidly. "You and Damon," He finally said.

I couldn't control my glare, "What of it Stefan?"

He narrowed his eyes, "You're fucking my brother."

Stefan rarely swore, he was trying to make a point, "You're fucking Elena Gilbert." I shot back. "What Elena and I share is romantic, I thought we agreed that what we share isn't."

"So you wouldn't be angry if Damon and I were dating?" I shot back.

He scoffed, "You're not dating Damon, he's still in love with Katherine."

I nodded, "It's all he fucking talks about," I replied, "It's a little disheartening when both the men you sleep with our obsessed with other women, who just happen to be identical."

"You don't get it," He replied, "I love Elena, I really do, but girlfriends come and go. What we have has become a necessity to me. I can't go two days without needing to see you and the thought of you with my brother makes me want to gauge out my own eyes."

This made me feel uneasy. If he needed me this much then things had gone too far. "I'm sorry Stefan. You deserve to be happy and what we have is too fucked up for happiness. You clearly have something good going with Elena and you should work on that," I said, "I'll see you at school."

* * *

I hurried out of the bathroom trying to control the building hysteria. I'd been wrapped up in the Salvatore's since Vicky's death. Without them, would all the repressed grief come flooding back? "Cathy," Matt appeared in front of me, "Is everything okay?"

I nodded, "I'm just tired. Will you take me home?"

He nodded, "Sure."

* * *

Later on, I was attempting to fall asleep when my phone Buzzed. It was Damon calling. I hit ignore and texted him the short phrase '_It's over Damon, I'm sorry.'_ I rolled over and stared into the darkness. So this was the start as my adult life.


	6. Chapter 6

_A Curious Predicament._

Every day of this week, Matt came over to my house. He waited, patiently in the kitchen whilst I washed and dressed, and then we made breakfast together. I was never a big breakfast eater, neither was Vicky. But Matt was a firm believer in breakfast being the most important meal of the day. By the end of the week I felt that if I ever had to see a piece of bacon again, I'd shoot myself. Matt was a saint, he didn't ask questions, he ignored my mood swings and always had a coffee on hand. Despite all this, I couldn't quell the uncomfortable, almost painful pangs in my chest and all over my skin. I hadn't taken anything in over a week and the cravings were beginning to settle in. I'd lost the two biggest distractions in my life; drugs and sex, and now the bitter reality of my situation was beginning to sink in. Matt noticed one morning as I played with the bacon and scrambled eggs on my plate. "I've been thinking," He began, "Maybe it's about time you spoke to someone about everything that's been happening?"

Therapy... weirdly enough, no one had ever suggested therapy. "I couldn't afford it," I replied.

"How about you go down to the practice and schedule a trial appointment. Then, if you really think it's a good idea, I'm sure we could figure something out."

* * *

That's how I ended up spending my Saturday. I wandered through town and found myself outside a pretty looking town house. A plaque on the wall read _Dr Elijah Mikaelsson, Psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist. _As well as a number of other longish new age words. Mikaelsson... I knew that name. Was he a relation to Kol? I pushed open the door and was greeted by an open, pure white corridor. I made my way down it, taking note of a few closed side doors. The corridor opened onto a large airy waiting room. ONe wall was made completely of window, which gave me a wonderful view onto the expertly manicured garden. The waiting room was empty, there was no assistant or secretary. My eyes fell on a large mahogany door with _Dr Elijah Mikaelsson_ on it. It was closed, but I could tell that there was life behind it. Something about it unsettled me, something unknown and potentially life changing was behind that daunting door. I took a seat and calmed my breathing. I wanted to call Matt, to brag about my having successfully made it to the waiting room. But then I remembered that we'd thrown away my cell phone. Over the course of a week, I'd received over fifty missed calls from Damon and Stefan. I knew that they both had come to the house, mostly during the night. Only Stefan had tried to come inside, but Matt was in that night and Stefan couldn't reveal his special talents to Matt. They knew that I was an addict, and they both assumed that I would eventually crack and come crawling back. But I'd show them. Matt knew. He'd found me sitting in the dark, staring at my cell phone one night and demanded I tell him what was going on. He wanted to tell Elena, but I persuaded him not to. He understood how I'd managed to project all of my problems onto Stefan and Damon, who were both pretty mysterious guys, and thus get addicted to my time with them. But he also knew that my sleeping with them was like sweeping my problems under the rug. They didn't disappear, they were just ignored. Plus, Damon's obsession with Katherine and Stefan's relationship with Elena were just fuel to my self loathing. I had to start liking myself... or so the books kept on telling me.

I sat in the waiting room for what seemed like half an hour until the daunting door opened. I was greeted by the image of a striking looking man in an impressive sharp suit. His dark hair was styled to look smart and yet somehow devilishly sexy at the same time and his sharp dark eyes complemented perfectly his sharp cheek bones. He smiled down at me. "Miss Jones," He said.

I stood up and smiled, "Yes hello Dr Mikaelsson," We shook hands, "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, I can imagine in a town as fucked up as this one your schedule is

filled to the brim," I trailed off, "I-I didn't mean that I'm just a little tired.."

He smiled, "Please Miss Jones, I'm a therapist, you can say anything you want in front of me."

He led me into his office which looked to be a smaller scaled oval office. There was a huge mahogany desk in front of a wall sized window and in front of that were two leather arm chairs. He indicated that I should sit down and he sat down opposite. "Miss Jones, what would you like to discuss today?" He asked.

I thought for a moment, "Well my friend Matt suggested I come here because... well to put it bluntly, my life has gone to shit."

"Why don't you talk about that?"

"Right... in a nutshell, six months ago, my mother killed herself and the next day my father disappeared without a trace. I was left with a crumbling house, very little money, a crippling mortgage, absolutely no legal rights to any of it because I haven't been visited by a lawyer and I couldn't afford one anyway and to top it all off, my families reputation is lower than the seventh circle of Hell. Everyone in town seems to hate me for no reason. My oldest friend in the whole world was murdered a month ago and I have nothing."

"In a nutshell," He repeated, "Let's start at the beginning. I know it's trivial, but, why don't you tell me about your family dynamic. What was your relationship with your parents like?"

"Difficult," I said, "My father was a founding family member, but he left at sixteen to pursue art, thus screwing up the family image. Anyway, he came back, met my mother and they married. She was head over heels for this idea of a romantic hero and he liked passive women on which he could project anything. It was a win win. Anyway, he lost interest, naturally. Always wanting more, but my mother was so in love that she ignored his lack of interest and respect. That's why she killed herself, she was suffocating in a life that she needed, but that was slowly killing her," I paused, "My father always wanted a prodigal son, and I don't think he ever forgave me or my mother for my gender. He shut me out of any of his creative pursuits... towards the end, he barely spoke to me. Truth be told, I fucking hate him."

* * *

It felt fantastic, fucking fantastic to vent to someone who wouldn't judge, who had only my best interests at heart and who didn't seem to care that I didn't cry. At the end of the appointment, we discussed moving forward. He said that he wanted to take me on as a patient and, after I mentioned my financial situation, he offered me free sessions until I had a steady income. In short, he was Jesus, Muhammad, Guru Nanak and The Buddha all rolled into one. I wandered home with a spring in my step, looking around and taking in the scenery, not looking where I was going. That was my mistake. I was walking down a deserted wide lane with forrest on either side and froze. Damon Salvatore was standing a few meters away, staring at me. "Hello Catherine," He said.

"Hello Damon," I replied, "What are you up to?"

He stepped forward until he was just one meter away. I resisted the urge to step back. "We haven't been this close in a while," he said.

"What do you want Damon?" I asked.

"I want to know why you had to ruin a perfect thing?" he demanded, stepping closer.

"A perfect thing?" I repeated, "You know me better than most, can't you see how sleeping with a man who's in love with someone else would seriously damage me?"

"Damage you? I thought you wanted the no strings thing?"

"I don't know what I want, but I'm done with the self destructive bullshit. I finally have someone who wants to look out for me and I want to be strong to look out for him."

"Finally?" he said, his eyes full of confused passion, "I've been here for you ever since we met. I want to be here for you, I want you. I need our time together because, when we're together, all the pain of our lives and all of the bad things we've done, go away."

"But don't you see Damon, all of those terrible things didn't go away, we just ignored them. That's not healthy, it's not real," I swallowed, "Don't you remember all those nights we lay in bed together, and you would go on and on about how fucking fantastic Katherine is. I just listened, I didn't once mention all the fantastic things about Stefan..." I trailed off, I'd gone too far.

"Stefan?" he said, "You and Stefan?"

I felt my heartbeat rise slightly, "Yes Damon. You know what I'm talking about, I know you know."

"I need you more than Stefan. You'll never beat Elena." He said, his volume rising.

"I know that!" I all but shouted back, "I'll never beat Elena, I'll never beat Katherine and I know that. And that's why I ended things with both of you but, you know what Damon, Stefan tried to find me and he tried to speak to me and work things out. He fought for the fucked up agreement we had, you didn't."

He remained silent for a few minutes. I was becoming slightly worried that he might lash out. but my worries were assuaged when he said, "Katherine's gone."

I studied him, "What do you mean, she's gone?"

"I mean she was never there in the tomb, she was never in the tomb. She lied to us and ran from Mystic Falls in 1864. She's been free and well all these years and she just hasn't come for me. She never cared."

"I'm sorry Damon, but I haven't got time for this. I'm sorry, I have to go."

* * *

That night was my trial shift at the grill. Unfortunately, Matt wouldn't be there as he had an away match with the football team a few towns over. I was a little nervous as I approached the Grill in my black jeans, Kol's recommendation due to beverage and food stains. I spotted him at the bar and he smiled, beckoning me over. "Hi there," He said, "Glad you came. I was thinking that you could do three hours tonight and, if you like it, we can move on from there."

I nodded, "That sounds great."

"You're not eighteen are you? You're seventeen?" He asked.

"Yup that's correct. I'm eighteen next year."

"Right, well then you can't officially work behind the bar. How about tonight I start you on hostessing and collecting plates?"

"That's perfect," I replied, "Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mr Mikaelsson."

He grinned, "Please call me Kol. We like a relaxed atmosphere and I like to be more friends with those who work here than a boss."

"Kol it is then," I said, "Where shall I get started?"

"How about we start you with hostessing. Stand at the station and select the right number of menus relative to the number of patrons, it's pretty simple."

* * *

It was a slow night at the hostess stand. Very few people came to eat at the grill on a Saturday night, the majority of patrons were kids from the high school looking to use their fake ID's. It was right at the end of my shift when I spotted Elena Gilbert marching towards me. However, on closer inspection, she appeared to have made a few image changes. Gone were the days of ill fitting frumpy button downs. She was wearing skin tight black jeans tucked into heeled ankle boots matched with a revealing red strappy top. Her usually lifeless straight hair was in thick curls and there was a certain mischievous glint in her eye.

There was definitely something off about this person I did not recognize. She made her way over and smiled, "Good evening."

"Good evening miss," I replied, "Table for one?"

She raised her eyebrows, "No actually I'm meeting my brother Jeremy Gilbert, do you know him?"

That sold it. This was not Elena Gilbert. Elena Gilbert knew me, she knew that I, unfortunately, knew her wimpy little brother. "I had no idea Jeremy had two sisters," I replied, carefully.

Her eyes widened, "What do you mean two sisters?"

"Well," I began, "His elder sister Elena Gilbert is a contemporary of mine. I've never heard of his other sister."

Her wide eyed expression immediately morphed into a wicked smile, "You're a clever one," She said, "I'm going to like you."

And suddenly it hit me, like a tank it hit me. "Katherine Pierce," I stated.

She narrowed her eyes, "You've heard of me?"

"Damon Salvatore's pillow talk isn't particularly polished. All he tends to talk about is the woman he's in love with... or obsessed with is a better term."

"You must be Cathy Jones," She said.

Now it was my turn to question, "You've heard of me?"

"The Salvatore boys never could resist a Catherine," She replied, "Is there somewhere quiet we can talk?"

I nodded, "I just have to tell my boss that I'm done."

* * *

I said goodbye to Kol and met with Katherine in a small café right on the edge of town. I thought it would be better not to see her at home, as I knew that both Stefan and Damon could easily walk in. She had ordered two coffees and had already compelled the waitress to turn a blind eye at her openly smoking. I joined her and lit a cigarette of my own. "So what do you want to know?" I asked.

"Well," She began, raising her eyebrows, "I suppose I want to know how you could've fucked the two men who're responsible for the death of your best friend?"

I let out a cloud of smoke and nodded, "I've asked myself that question several times since then. I suppose my total state of shock and grief was somewhat diminished by the act of having animalistic sex with two people who're extremely gifted. However, that haze lifted and I saw reason and so I stopped."

"And how do you feel now?" She asked.

"Comfortably numb," I replied.

She grinned, "A Pink Floyd fan that's good to know. Now I have to tell you something important, so you have to listen. The Salvatore's arrival in town is just the beginning. It will give rise to an astronomical concatenation of misfortunes that will tear this town apart. Vicky Donovan's death will be nothing compared to the bloodshed that will arrive with these misfortunes. These dangers are all centered around Elena Gilbert and the Salvatore's."

I wasn't expecting that. I took a sip of coffee and stubbed out my cigarette, "Why are you telling me this?" She opened her mouth to speak, but I continued, "This has nothing to do with me. You'd be better off telling Stefan or Damon... or indeed Elena herself, although I daresay she won't be much help throwing her pompoms in the face of danger."

"Not an Elena fan?"

"I'd rather not talk about her," I replied.

Katherine sighed and ran a hand through her hair. It was the first time I'd ever seen a tired looking vampire. Katherine who, by all accounts was a crazy psycho bitch, was genuinely concerned for this town and the well being of it's inhabitants. "You don't know it now, but you're a much bigger part of this than you think."

"Elena's the centre of everything."

"Yes, she's the key but you're the alternate."

"The alternate?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

She nodded, "There have been doppelgängers that look like Elena and me since pretty much the dawn of time. Our blood is the key to everything, but, with every doppelgänger there has been an alternate. The complete opposite, the antitheses of the doppelgänger and yet the only other person who is as important, or could be as important as the doppelgänger."

"So you're saying that Elena's the lead and I'm the understudy? I can just step in at a moments notice?"

She nodded thoughtfully, "That's a way of putting it."

I nodded, "No deal," I stood up, "I don't know why you're telling me this, quite frankly, I don't care. I have enough fucking crazy in my life to sink a battleship and I don't need anymore. Don't try and follow me, don't try and fuzz my brain because I can barely keep it together myself."

* * *

**_Hi everyone, firstly, thank you for all the reads, reviews, favourites and follows. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Secondly, I know how I want this story to go but, if you have any requests, be they character pairings or just plot related, please do message me or leave a review._**

**_Faithfully yours,_**

**_Pussyriot_**


	7. Chapter 7

_Pills, Pills, Pills..._

I woke up feeling nervous. This would be the first day I'd be going to school in a week or so and I knew that avoiding my problems would be much more difficult out in the open. I was quite surprised not to see Matt that morning, as he usually came over rather early. But I tool it in my stride, knowing that I couldn't depend on him for the rest of my life, that wouldn't be fair. I forced myself to eat a small breakfast of nuts and a yogurt. I then showered and dressed myself in a simple pair of black jeans and an old Suzi Quatro Tee- shirt. The drive to school was tense, Matt had allowed me to use Vicky's jeep insisting that it's what she wanted, or would've wanted had she left any indication. I parked as close to the building as I possibly could without drawing attention to myself. However, as soon as I stepped out of the car, I was greeted with a cry of, "Cathy Jones." I felt myself relax a little as Caroline flew into my arms, hugging me with a vice grip. I smiled at her, "Morning Caroline, you're bouncy today."

She linked arms with me as we began to walk to the building, "Doesn't a girl have the right to enjoy being young?"

I smirked, "You asked a big question there sister. Have you seen Matt at all this morning?"

She narrowed her eyes, "Why what have you heard?"

I grinned, "Nothing at all. Why, is there something to hear?"

She shook her head with a laugh, "I don't know really," There was an excited glint in her eye, "We've sort of been hanging out recently. It's fun, we're having fun... but I don't know what it means. I want it to mean something, but I don't know if he does."

I tried to ignore the sharp stab in my chest. Over the past few weeks, in our state of pleasant domesticity, my feelings for Matt had developed from a crush into something much deeper. "Wow," I replied, "Caroline, that's great. He really needs something good in his life right now."

A delighted grin spread across her face, "I'm so glad you approve. I mean, you and Matt are practically family. He talks about you like a little sister and I couldn't pursue him without your approval."

I nodded, "Well I'm happy for you. And don't worry about what it all means, just give him time."

She sighed, "Time to get over Elena, you mean?"

I rolled my eyes, "Come on Caroline, you know that you are a billion times more interesting than Elena and thus a billion times more attractive. Calm yourself, all will work out."

* * *

Caroline left me at my locker to find some of the cheer squad girls. I was happy to be alone at that point. I didn't think I could keep up the supportive friend act for much longer, as guilty as that made me. I was shuffling a few things around in my locker when I heard a male voice say my name. I turned around to be greeted by Tyler Lockwood. "Hi Tyler," I'd not really spoken to the guy before, maybe exchanged a few words that one does with one's peers at social events, "How are you?"

"I'm fine thanks Cathy, I'm well," He replied. He seemed nervous and serious all at the same time which made me feel a small surge of warmth for him. "How are you doing?"

I smiled, "I'm alright thanks."

He studied me for a minute, clearly making up his mind as to whether or not he'd say the thing he'd really came to me to say. I gave him a reassuring smile which seemed to build his confidence as he then continued, "I know that we both have a free period and I was just about to go out for a cigarette and I was wondering if you wanted to join? I know we've never been close, but Vicky and I were and I thought it would be nice to get to know her best friend."

I nodded, "Sure Tyler, that would be great."

* * *

Tyler and I walked side by side down to the old back parking lot used to house old mini busses, known affectionately by the student body as the 'Stoner Pit'. We perched on a low stone wall and Tyler lit up a cigarette after offering me one. I took it with a smile and accepted his offer of a light. "So, have you heard from Vicky recently?" His voice was hopeful. I shook my head with a sad smile, "No. You know Vicky, she's a free spirit. I'm surprised she stayed this long in Mystic Falls."

He nodded, "You're right. I know you probably think that I was just after Vicky for her ass-"

"I don't think that," I replied.

"Most people do."

"I'm not most people," I said, "Vicky's a smart girl. She wouldn't fall for someone who only wanted one thing."

His eyes widened, "She loved me?"

"In her own way, I think she did."

He smiled, "You're not most people, not at all. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I exhaled.

"Why, and don't take this the wrong way, why didn't you go with her? I mean, you don't exactly strike me as the sort to enjoy living here?"

I chuckled, "No I am not. Truth be told, Vicky didn't give me a word of warning, plus, one of us had to stay for Matt."

He nodded with a sad expression, "I'm afraid I haven't seen much of him recently. How's he doing?"

"He's doing well," I replied, "Matt's strong, he always finds a way of getting by."

"He's been eating a lot of meat recently," Tyler said in all seriousness.

I studied his face for a moment before bursting out laughing. Tyler turned to me and began to chuckle as well until we were leaning against each other for support, the tears rolling down our faces. "Did anyone ever tell you you're a huge freak?" he asked.

"You're the first to say it out loud," I replied, "But I daresay you won't be the last."

"Listen," he began as he sat up, "There's this founder's thing at my place coming up and I originally was going to ask Vicky, but that's not possible now. I was wondering if you'd want to come with me, as friends of course."

I smiled and nodded, "Sure. It'd be nice to go out, I've spent so much time inside."

He grinned, "Great, that's great. Thanks Jones." His eyes drifted from me to something just passed my head, and his face fell. I turned round to see Jeremy Gilbert storming towards us. Tyler got up and moved to meet him. "It's your fault!" I heard Jeremy yell at Tyler, "She left town because of you!" I could see Tyler tensing up so I jumped up and hurried over. "You better shut up Gilbert," Tyler hissed.

"Yeah, Jeremy leave him alone, he has nothing to do with Vicky," I insisted.

Jeremy's glare fell on me, "If it wasn't him, then it was you. You should've stopped her but no, you're too self absorbed and selfish to think of anyone but yourself and your own life. You're probably glad she's gone so that you can move in on her sloppy seconds, you slut."

I felt my calm resolve, and any sympathy I had for Jeremy Gilbert in that moment, dissolve and a rage building in my chest. "What did you call me?" I asked him, dangerously quietly.

He took a step closer, his chest puffing out, "Slut."

The next moment seemed to go in slow motion. I raised my arm above my head and brought my fist down to smash against the side of his face. He stumbled back and fell to the ground. "Holy shit," Tyler exclaimed kneeling down as if to offer Jeremy a hand, but staying still just staring at him. "Don't ever speak as though you know shit about my problems," I spat at him, "How dare you?"

He stood up and glared at me, "Matt was right about you. You're not worth it, you're trash now and you'll be trash forever."

I felt as though someone had pushed their hand into my chest and ripped out my heart. "Matt said that?" I all but whispered.

"Come on Jones," Tyler said, placing his hand on my shoulder, "Let's go, it's not worth it."

"Yeah Catherine," Jeremy spat, "Matt said that. You're trash that he feels sorry for you. And it's true. You're dad got out while he could. Your mother fucking killed herself to get away from you."

I wanted to scream at him, but, before I could, Tyler had pushed him to the ground and was pummeling him into oblivion. I looked up, to see if any teachers were lurking, and saw the three people I was hoping I'd never see again. Elena Gilbert, Stefan and Matt were rushing towards us and growing closer every second. "Tyler stop," I cried, grabbing onto his shoulder in an attempt to calm him. He finally relented, just as the three reached us. Tyler was still seething, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I kept my hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Elena cried as Stefan and Matt helped Jeremy to his feet. We were confronted by four identically livid faces. "Seriously, what the hell Ty?" Matt snapped.

Stefan didn't say anything, but he remained completely stony faced and refused to look at me. Elena however, was glaring at me. "What is your problem with my family?" she demanded. Before I could open my mouth, Tyler said, "Why don't you ask your brother what he just said to Catherine here?"

Elena's eyes briefly flickered towards Jeremy, but quickly found us again, "Whatever he said, I'm sure it was because he's upset about Vicky. And I'm sure it wasn't unprovoked."

I could see Tyler getting riled up again, so I touched his arm again, "Come on Tyler, let's go," I said, quietly, "No rest for the wicked."

Tyler walked passed me and made his way, very quickly towards the school building. I let out a deep breath and began to follow him when Matt said, "What the hell was that about?"

I didn't answer, I couldn't look at him. I felt him grab my shoulder and he added rather angrily, "Did you hear me? What the fuck is wrong with you."

I whirled round and stared him right in the eye, forcing myself not to cry, "Don't touch me!" I hissed, "Don't ever come near me again. You're a liar. You're a hypocrite."

Realization dawned on his face and he opened his mouth to speak, but I had already started walking.

* * *

"You think you know someone... and then, then they just turn around and stab you in the back," I sighed and sat down on Dr Mikaelsson's couch, resting my head in my hands, "I'm sorry," I muttered through my fingers, "I know I'm venting."

Dr Mikaelsson chuckled, "You still don't quite grasp the concept of therapy, do you?"

I leant back against the leather of the chair, "The concept I'm okay with, it's the practice of it that I can't quite grasp. My problems are my own, I shouldn't burden you with them."

He studied me for a moment, "You were fine the other day. What's changed?"

I swallowed, "I lost the last person who meant anything to me... who I thought loved me. But it turns out that his opinions of me are exactly the same as those held by the rest of the town."

"Which are?"

"That I'm trash. An abomination.. half breed product of a sex crazed founding family member. That I deserve losing my mother and my father."

"Do you believe that?"

I blinked, "Starting to."

"You have to stop thinking about the way others see you. Therapy means focussing on saving yourself, which I know is something you've never done before. But, the only way to hope to make healthy connections to people in the future, is to be sure that you yourself are alright."

I groaned, "What's so great about connecting with other people? Other people suck."

He grinned, "Somehow I doubt you'll ever be a sociopath, as hard as you might try."

"Life's not fair."

He shook his head, "No it's not. I'm putting you on a type of SNRI called Efexor. Are you still on Prozac?" I nodded, "Good. This is something you should take with your Prozac."

"What will it do?"

"It's a seretonin balancer. It helps you to have a more moderated emotional spectrum, and it will help control the mood swings."

I accepted the prescription slip and stood up, "Until next week, Doc."

* * *

I stared at the two full prescription bottles sitting on my kitchen table. I took one from each, popped them in my mouth and then took a deep glug of water. I took a deep breath and stood up. I walked through the kitchen into the hall and opened the front door. "Katherine," I called out, "I don't know if you can hear me but, if you can, I'm ready to talk."

She appeared as if out of nowhere, directly in front of me. "Can I come in?" She asked.

I nodded and stepped aside, "Come in."

She walked passed me and headed straight into the kitchen. I saw her sitting in my empty place, looking at the bottles. "Heavy stuff," She said.

I sat down opposite her, "Weak stuff doesn't work. You told me I was an alternate to the doppelgänger, which is Elena."

"That's right," She replied, "There's always an alternate."

"Who was your alternate?"

"One of my handmaids... She was called Jane Parker."

"Are the alternates always subordinate?"

She smirked, "It's not written into law, but now I come to think of it."

"And what's the relevance of all this?"

She was distracted, her eyes fixed on my Efexor bottle. She picked it up and examined it. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Dr Elijah Mikaelsson?" She said.

"Yes, my doctor."

"Oh shit," She said, "They already know."

"What do you mean... who know?"

"Elijah... the Mikaelsson's."

"Elijah and Kol?" I asked.

Her eyes widened, "Kol's here too, you know Kol?"

"Yes," I replied, "He's my boss at the grill."

"They have you surrounded. You need to get out of town. You need to disappear."

"What?" I snapped, "What are you talk-"

We were interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. We exchanged glances and, slowly, I stood up. I opened the door. Standing there, looking furious were Stefan and Damon.

"We know she's here," Damon said.

"We're here to help you," Stefan added.

* * *

_**Thank you all for your continued support. Any requests, don't be afraid to PM me, or leave a review.**_

_**xoxo**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Secrets and Lies**_

"You can't trust her Cathy," Damon insisted.

"She's trying to manipulate you," Stefan added.

I raised my eyebrows, "I don't know what you're talking about. But I do know that I told the two of you to leave me alone so-" Damon had pushed passed me and marched into the kitchen, Stefan on his heels. I let out a sigh and hurried after them. Katherine was leaning back in her chair, her stilettoed feet resting on the table. Damon and Stefan were standing at the entrance to the kitchen, looking as though they were embarking on a particularly competitive testosterone competition. I pushed passed them and stood directly between the brothers and Katherine. "Before anyone says anything, let me speak," I began, "You may all be vampires and I may be a mere mortal, but this is my kitchen. You're in my house so if I tell you to leave, you'll get the fuck out... understood?"

"Understood," Damon and Katherine said together. Stefan remained stony faced.

"Ignore what she says about us," Damon said, "She's a liar."

I exchanged glances with Katherine. "They don't know," She said.

I swallowed, "Elena's in danger," I said, "A very powerful man intends to use her in a sacrifice because her doppelgänger blood has magical properties." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Katherine looking at me curiously, but I ignored her. "You have to get her out of town," I added.

Stefan and Damon clearly were not expecting that. They looked as if they'd just discovered gravity, they were so surprised. "Elena's in danger?" Damon repeated.

"We're not here to talk about Elena," Stefan snapped, "We have to talk about us."

"Us... Stefan there is no us. And there are far more pressing matters to discuss."

"Let's get over this teeny angst bullshit," Katherine snapped, "Stefan, if you can't focus, then you can take a long walk of a short pier. Damon, if you mean to talk business, then sit down."

After a moment, Damon sat down opposite her. I sat in between them and, eventually, so did Stefan on the other side of the table, opposite me. "Who is this powerful man?" Damon asked.

"Ever heard of a vampire named Klaus?" Katherine asked.

Their eyes widened, "Every vampire knows who Klaus is," Damon replied, "He's like vampire royalty... from the first family of vampires, the originals."

"Klaus needs to use the blood of the doppelgänger to break a very particular curse. He tried to use mine in the early sixteenth century, but I turned myself into a vampire and have been running ever since."

"So you led him here," Stefan said, his voice accusatory.

Katherine roller her eyes, "I came here to warn you. You need to get the hell out of dodge. Take Elena as far away from here as possible. I have a few safe houses across Europe. Paris, Barcelona, Munich, Amsterdam, London and a few in Ireland. You need to get to one of them as soon as possible."

"Why should we believe a word you say?"

Katherine raised her eyebrows at Stefan, "Well you can decide to not believe me, and see how well that does you." They stared at each other intensely for a moment. If I didn't know the history of deep hatred between those two, the look could've been misconstrued for lust. I wanted to say something, anything, to stop the heavy silence. However, my job was done for me when there came a loud banging on the front door. I turned to Katherine, "You'd better hide," I said.

She smirked, "No need, it's Elena. I think the sooner we meet, the better."

I stood up and made my way to the door. "No Catherine," Stefan snapped.

"Elena can't see her, not this way, not yet," Damon added. I looked passed them to Katherine who shot me a look that I understood completely. Although her smile was seductive, and full of mischief, yet behind it was a certain sincerity. She was sure that she was doing the right thing. I nodded at her and opened the front door. Elena was standing there, soaking wet, a look of utter distress on her face. "I know Stefan's here," she cried, mimicking perfectly a beleaguered heroin from a melodrama, "I know that you have something going with Damon but please, don't let that keep Stefan and me apart." Poor girl, she was so clueless. She had no idea that Stefan and I had ever shared eye contact, let alone nights of endless shagging. "Elena, you must be freezing," I said, stepping aside, "Come on in, we're all in the kitchen."

We walked side by side into the kitchen and Elena let out a gasp. Katherine smiled at her, "Elena, we meet at last."

Elena had turned as white as a sheet. Both Stefan and Damon were staring at her, slightly sheepish expressions on their faces. "Erm right, now that the introductions have been made, perhaps you'd like to come upstairs and get dry, maybe put on some fresh clothes. I think we might be around the same size," I said, "Stefan, Damon... one of you make some tea. Perhaps make Elena's Irish."

* * *

I led Elena upstairs and sat her down on my bed. She sat there, staring into space, her expression completely blank. This was a situation I'd never thought I'd get myself into. I placed a pile of fluffy towels next to her and began looking in my closets for something she'd want to wear. "I know this must be a little... surreal for you," I said, flicking through my dresses. "I knew that we were supposed to look alike," She replied, "When I found out, I didn't speak to Stefan for days... but I never expected us to be.. to be so identical. Stupid of me."

I turned around, "Not stupid of you. When I first met Katherine, I nearly shit a brick."

The edges of her mouth began to move upward and then she broke out into chuckles. "I know you're lying to spare my feelings, but I appreciate it."

I pulled my desk chair out from under it and sat down in front of her, "I'm sorry for beating the shit out of your brother... and I'm sorry on Tyler's behalf for his beating the shit out of your brother."

She shrugged, "I think it probably was good for him. Tyler told me what he said to you. Cathy, I'm so sorry. He didn't mean what he said."

"I know that," I said, "When we lose people we love, our outlook on things changes dramatically."

She nodded, "I know what you mean. And he's not my brother, by the way."

I frowned, "What?"

"Jeremy... he's my cousin. It turns out, I'm adopted. I'm uncle John's daughter, not my parents'."

"And I thought my life was complicated."

She snorted, "Complicated doesn't begin to cover it," She shivered.

I stood up, "I'll give you some privacy. You should get dry, do help yourself to any of my clothes... I'm afraid we don't have the same taste."

She smiled, "It's fine, thanks Cathy for being so nice."

"What can I say, It's my prerogative. I'm Jesus."

* * *

I left her and made my way back down to the kitchen where all hell had broken loose. "I'm telling you, you put the milk in before the tea to improve the taste," Damon was yelling.

"That's only when you use loose leaf tea, you imbecile," Katherine shot back, "And Cathy only has this pyramid tea bag crap!"

"It's not crap, the shape improves the flavor!" Stefan piped up.

I let out a long laugh, silencing the trio. "Honestly," I said, "A millennium between you, and you come to blows over tea. For the love of God, it's pretty simple. You heat the water, you pour it over the tea, whether it be loose leaf or in any shape of bag, and then you add water and sugar as it suits you. How many times have you graduated college?"

"How's Elena doing?" Stefan asked, changing the subject.

"She's alright. A little in shock, but that's to be expected."

"I'm fine." Elena was standing in the doorway wearing a pair of very tight ripped black jeans and an off the shoulder Courtney Love tee shirt. She looked so out of place in my clothes, it was almost comical. She sat down at the head of the table and Stefan placed a mug of very milky, watery tea in front of her. I scoffed and took it away, turning around to make a fresh brew. I heard the three vampires sitting down at the table. "So what is it that you're all dying to say?" Elena asked. I was impressed at her perceptiveness. I'd always taken Elena for an airhead. "Well Elena," Stefan began.

"You're in danger," Katherine cut in, "Our blood, specifically yours as I'm a vampire, holds magical properties and is thus a fundamental ingredient to many ancient spells. Specifically, a curse that was bestowed upon a very old, very powerful and very dangerous

vampire named Klaus. The original vampire, the very first of our kind."

"What sort of curse?" Elena asked.

"That's not important... but Klaus is more than a vampire. His father was a different kind of beast."

"What kind?" Damon asked.

"That I'm not so sure of," Katherine replied, "There are so many... I've no idea which."

I brought a laden tray to the table and placed a mug of tea in front of each, as well as placing a plate of biscuits in the centre of the table. I sat down opposite Elena, at the other end of the table. "Well then you're useless," Damon said, "We can kill you now."

"As Katherine said, the curse itself isn't important," I snapped, "The point is, Elena, you have to get out of town. This Klaus could very well be on his way here as we speak."

Her eyes widened, "I can't leave. This is my home, what about my family and my friends?"

"You'll make new friends," Katherine smirked, "European ones."

I glared at her, "Not helping Katherine. We can get Jenna and Jeremy out."

"But what about my friends? What about you lot, what will Klaus do to you?"

"Does it get boring being so compassionate and caring all the time?" I asked.

Katherine chuckled, "Now who's being helpful, Catherine?"

I shook my head, "I'm sorry I've only taken a couple of Prozac today. The point is, Klaus won't care about us, it's not us he wants. He wants you." yet again, I received a quizzical look from katherine which, yet again I chose to ignore. Elena shook her head, "I can't make this decision tonight. I can't think straight tonight."

"I think it's time for bed for all of us," I stated, "Elena, if you want, you can crash in the spare room tonight."

She smiled gratefully, "That's kind, I'd love to."

"And I think it's best tonight if only humans stay in this house. Have you got somewhere to stay?" I asked Katherine.

She grinned, "Of course I do. I compelled the realtor to give me the biggest open house in town," At Elena's horrified expression, she added, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

"There's a compliment in there somewhere," I said, hurriedly.


End file.
